The truth about transformation is that it’s not pretty.
One of the first things my clients will tell you about me is that I’m honest and transparent. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that going on your healing journey with me will be a breeze.
It won’t always be sunshine and rainbows.
Does that mean sunshine and rainbows don’t happen? Not at all! They definitely do. And they are so much sweeter because of the rain and storms we’ve weathered.
Going Deep
The work I do goes deep — into the subconscious and unconscious.
No, you don’t lie on a couch and tell me about your mother (though I do have a couch, and if it’s relevant, we do talk about your mother). My point is that this isn’t the old Freudian, deterministic type of psychology.
The therapy I practice invites you to be with your experience. To notice. To describe. To resonate. To correct. To deepen your understanding of parts of yourself and their experiences.
It helps you embody the Whole Person that YOU are — and to be there for yourself first.
We do this by accessing, developing, strengthening, and embodying the qualities of Christ: kindness, compassion (firm & gentle), curiosity, and friendliness. When we do, deeper parts of us feel safe enough to show up and share.
This kind of healing isn’t about “getting it right” or performing. God isn’t waiting for the polished version of you. He’s already present in the ache — gently revealing, gently inviting.
Death Before Resurrection
And this is where it gets confronting — and liberating.
Transformation is not without its death. For something new to come, something old must die first.
It really is quite biblical. Think of the Resurrection. And if you’re not into religion, think about the mythical phoenix rising from the ashes.
Before any of us can rise again — more glorious, beautiful, and whole than before — we must first die.
In therapy, this means our old patterns must die. Then they can be resurrected in their new form: where they serve us and the people around us, instead of controlling us. But before that can happen, we must first become aware of them.
This is the slow, sacred work of integration — not just “knowing better,” but actually practicing new beliefs, holding tension, and letting new stories take root inside us.
The Numbing Trap
Sadly, many of us live in ignorance. We simply do not know ourselves.
It’s easy for this to happen. Society keeps us busy, telling us we need to constantly work, do, and produce to prove we are worthy. The pressure is overwhelming.
And to cope, society also teaches us to numb ourselves.
We binge-watch series. Scroll mindlessly. Party every weekend. Game. Overbook our calendars. And of course, there are the stereotypical numbing strategies — drugs, alcohol, sex.
Why? Because if we didn’t numb ourselves, we’d feel the pain.
If we felt the pain, we’d ask what’s causing it. If we knew what was causing it, we might question the necessity of the catalyst. And if we questioned it, we might stop it.
If we stopped doing what Society (or the World — or really, the devil) wants us to do, we might just expose ourselves to the Light.
We might turn to the One who saves.
We might make choices that truly serve us.
We might finally realise who we really are — and never want to go back.
We might, finally, be free.
But to do that, the old patterns — the way of the World, of Satan’s world in us — must die. So they can be resurrected and made truly whole. So we can be set free.
Facing Ourselves
This death isn’t like the bodily death we know on earth. It’s the putting to rest of the methods that are hurting us.
It’s recognising when certain ways of being, interacting, and responding are helpful — and choosing them at the right time, instead of letting them run on default.
That means facing the times we didn’t choose correctly. Looking at our failures. Sitting with our disappointments. Acknowledging our heartaches.
This is the part of transformation no one likes to talk about. The part most people want to avoid. The part where some stop therapy — because it feels like too much.
And yet… if you stop here, you won’t experience the transformation you’re longing for.
Emotional maturity isn’t about shutting down or avoiding. It’s about staying present — with sadness, shame, anger, joy, desire. They all have a seat at the table.
The Journey Is Not Linear
Another hard truth: transformation isn’t linear.
There are mountains, valleys, and plains. It’s an epic journey — like something straight out of Lord of the Rings.
Some people get discouraged when they find themselves in a valley after standing on a mountaintop. We make massive progress, we feel like the end is in sight… and then something happens, and suddenly it feels like we’re back where we started.
This will happen.
It is normal.
It is okay.
The difference now is that you know how to better navigate the valleys. You have more resources, tools, and support than before.
And this won’t be your last valley. We’ll have them until we leave this earth.
But valleys don’t always need to be places of fear, anxiety, or stress. They can also be places where the light breaks through — where the most profound breakthroughs happen.
But that can only happen if we dare to go down into the depths of darkness first.
You Don’t Go Alone
I’m not trying to scare you off — honestly, I’m not.
I just want to be real with you. Healing means facing the pain and discomfort of our lives. Because we are human. We make mistakes. We hurt others. And we get hurt, too.
Like the old nursery rhyme says:
“You can’t go over it.
You can’t go under it.
You can’t go around it.
You have to go through it.”
The beauty is: you don’t go it alone.
If I’m your therapist, I’m with you every step of the way. I’m committed to you, to your process, to being your witness.
It won’t be easy. But it will definitely be worth it.
The path to wholeness won’t make you flawless. But it will make you honest. Grounded. Free. And maybe most surprising of all — your mess isn’t an obstacle to holiness. It might actually be the very meeting place.
You ready to give it a go?
Contact me to see how I can accompany you through your transformation and healing journey.
Lots of Love,
Steph